SOLVED!!!!! it make me crazy but finally i found on mysensors forum
@dallienl said in 
Building an Ethernet Gateway:
Had lots of issues getting this to work. The issue seems to be with the ethernet part, as I only have an ethernet board attached I removed the lines for the radio and the pin redirection. Still the code kept restarting all the time or just not being able to connect the controller.
AVR version of the Arduino 1.8.0 kit needs to be downgraded. I had 1.6.16 and downgraded to 1.6.11.
Open Arduino. Tools > Board: xxxxx > Boards manager... > Click "Arduino AVR Boards" > Select Version > 1.6.11
Recompile and you are good.
so i had to downgraded AVR version of the Arduino 1.8.0 kit and thats it 
i knew its smothing in arduino IDE
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